Sometimes it feels as though there is an all-mighty being controlling your life and having a real good time making it HELL. As you progress, one thing leads to another and crazy events happen that seem to turn your life upside-down every time they occur.
Take me for example; Mentally, I felt like I was quietly falling apart throughout the month of February, and I ended up saying and thinking things I wish I never had. At the end of February, a whirlwind of events occurred ending up with me letting go of multiple people I had loved and cared for. March was exhausting. I was caught up in every thought I had held in my head, and every day was a struggle to keep my head up and stay feeling strong. For me, I am a very emotionally concealed person and my closest friends thought that I was fine after about a week because that's how I made myself out to be. In reality, I struggled, a lot. Honestly, I still am. I haven't spent a day not thinking about what happened and struggling to put the pieces of the puzzle together and understand how and why things happened the way they did.
But day by day, I get better. I FEEL better. Throughout this time period I feel as if I have found myself and have taught myself a few things I think are worth sharing to make any situation better and overall be happier.
My simple steps to achieve happiness include:
1. Accept what has happened
2. Let yourself feel how you feel
3. Express how you feel
4. Be your own best friend
5. Put yourself to work
Firstly, when people begin to get emotional, they tend to spiral and then it seems hopeless to try to tell them, or yourself, to calm down in that moment so that they simply stop acting that way.
Now, what I find helpful is simply, when you feel as though you are about to spiral and start feeling irrational about something that has happened, tell yourself: "It already happened, it's okay." Often, we start to think about what COULD have happened or what WOULD'VE happened if this or that changed. If you tell yourself that it can't be reversed, that puts an end to that potential thinking later on. You can accept that it happened and move on to try and put yourself into a better place.
Okay, so how do you go into a better place? The key that I definitely used to miss is that I told myself that how I was feeling was wrong. If I was feeling sad or angry I shoved that feeling down my throat telling myself that I wasn't right to feel or think that way. That is not effective at all, because then those feelings will end up overtaking you eventually, and like an over-shaken soda bottle, you will explode, letting everything you feel out on others.
Let yourself feel how you feel. If you're sad, let yourself be sad. Don't hold back any tears and let it flow, let your barriers down as you wish. What is important to keep in mind is that while all emotions are valid, what you do with them and how you let them control you may not be. In an emotional state, you may go to do something that will not benefit you later on. It is best to be with yourself in this state and hold back from doing ANYTHING. Because what may seem like a great idea at the moment can turn out not being reasonable later.
Next, express your feelings. Don't just feel them, let them out in healthy ways. I cannot stress enough how important it is to talk to close friends and family about anything you feel. Just letting it out and having someone listen can have such a positive affect on how you feel it's unreal.
Of course if you're like me, then you have trouble expressing feelings and emotions to others no matter how close they are. There are other solutions. For me, I just write. I whip out my notebook or laptop and just write down every word and every thought I am feeling at the moment. If I am in conflict or feeling hurt by another person, I will simply write them a letter. Not to send, just to directly address them without them knowing it. Afterwards, I tuck away a sliver of my emotion into the writing and put it away for safe-keeping in the memory of my computer's hard drive.
Now, I have found that self love and care are vital to one's happiness, because in reality, if you aren't happy with yourself than that prevents you from being happy overall doesn't it? (I have a big post on self love planned soon, be prepared)
The point is, be with yourself. Take time to simply listen to music you like and smile to yourself. A smile goes further than you would think.
In the end, my biggest recommendation is to start a project. With something to motivate you, not only will you have a distraction, but when you do achieve something, that is a huge mood booster to see something you care about being put together. For me, that is this blog. I feel very motivated to continue to write and share content for my whole two readers out there. ;)
And in the end, while it may feel as though there is someone else controlling your life and turning it to crap, I promise It's all yours. You will be okay and you will prosper because that's how us strong people are built: to last and make it through anything. Sometimes times are tough, sometimes it feels as if you're stuck in a hole with no light to shine down, but don't worry because you're in a hole on a cloudy day and the sun will come shine down in no time.
Be Happy.
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